Why does an article from 1938 still resonate with us today?

I'm concerned that we may be receiving an excessive amount of opinions and advice regarding dating, relationships, and romantic love, which may offend some "real lovers."

Scrolling through my timeline on X, which was previously known as Twitter, it appears that a majority of tweets are anecdotes, how-to guides, or horror stories about love. As a frequent reader of romance novels, a thriving industry, I am overwhelmed. I can't be the only one feeling this way.

Humans have a natural inclination to form relationships and attachments, which is why love and romantic connections are so significant for us, according to Lisa Marie Bobby, a marriage and family therapist and founder of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching.

While it's common to seek advice on personal growth and relationships, it's important to note that not all advice is created equal, especially when it comes from unqualified sources, says Bobby to CNBC Make It.

We are fixated on the notion of having a "perfect" relationship, similar to the issue French journalist Raoul de Roussy de Sales wrote about in 1938.

While exploring The Atlantic Archive, I discovered De Roussy De Sales' article, "Love in America," and as a history enthusiast, I appreciate the similarities between past and present events.

The rewritten sentence is: "The piece by De Roussy De Sales portrays women with specific characteristics and men with others, reflecting the cultural norms of 1938."

Bobby explains that women did not have the same rights as humans unless they were married. It is important to understand the cultural context of that time period because the life of an unmarried woman was vastly different from that of a married woman.

Some of De Roussy De Sales' observations from 86 years ago are similar to what experts are seeing today.

In his May 1938 article, he expressed his worry about the American fixation on the idea of perfect romantic love, which he believed was causing people to leave relationships when they encountered any conflicts.

In "Love in America," De Roussy De Sales wrote:

De Roussy De Sales believed that romanticized portrayals of love in songs and literature, combined with manuals on standard methods for resolving relationship problems, could potentially hinder compromise.

He realized that fictional depictions of love were leading people to believe that "love is always pure, sincere, inspiring, and revitalizing," and "when love fails to maintain its purity, sincerity, and revitalization, the only solution is to start anew with a different partner."

At the time of the publication of numerous books on maintaining a successful marriage, De Roussy De Sales wrote, "It is impossible to feel joy when the art of love is reduced to mere formulas."

Bobby explains that while it's great to learn about healthy relationships and work on yourself, relying on others' judgment instead of your own can lead to issues.

De Roussy De Sales stated that there is no set plan for love, and an excessive focus on it could result in unfavorable consequences. Bobby concurs with this viewpoint.

According to Bobby, a trusted relationship expert, love advice can be beneficial if it is tailored to your unique circumstances and takes into account the fact that everyone's background and experiences are different.

"The problem arises when individuals listen to messages about relationships, actions, and what they should or should not do, which are presented in black and white, with a high level of confidence, by people who lack an evidence-based approach."

Honor your desire for love, but don't assume it'll solve everything

Nearly a century ago, De Roussy De Sales recognized the belief that finding a romantic partner would solve all life's problems.

He believed that people's reliance on love examples and advice was motivated by a desire for assistance in resolving problems, rather than acknowledging that difficulties and misunderstandings are common and manageable once one decides to accept them.

Bobby advises against underestimating your desires for a partner or starting a family, but cautions that achieving those goals may not necessarily lead to increased happiness or fulfillment.

"Bobby says that it is false that you will feel as happy and fulfilled as you do now if you don't have a partner, a house, or a baby. He emphasizes that these desires are real and legitimate, and that people are naturally wired to have them."

A life coach can be a valuable resource if you're unsure about your values and goals in life, including love and community service.

What is it that you desire in the future and what are you currently experiencing? This question is unique to each person and requires introspection and reflection.

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