Raising emotionally intelligent kids is 'the single greatest thing we can do as parents', says Stanford psychologist.

It's natural to feel the urge to scold your child when they have a meltdown at the grocery store or refuse to get out of bed for school in the morning, but it's important to remember that this approach may not be effective.

According to psychologist Caroline Fleck, talking may not be the most effective method for course correction. Fleck is an adjunct clinical instructor at Stanford University and the author of the upcoming book "Validation."

The most important thing we can do as parents is to improve our validation skills.

If a child is not shamed for their emotions, they are more likely to modify their behavior.

'The objective is to verify the emotion and subsequently concentrate on what's invalid.'

Fleck employs a technique with her own offspring, such as inquiring into the reasons behind her daughter's upset when requested to empty the dishwasher.

"Fleck says that she will give him an inaccurate portrayal of what happened, describing him as screaming and throwing things, even though he only asked her to empty the dishwasher."

When you affirm that no one wants to do chores, you can then explain why it's important to fulfill certain responsibilities.

"The objective is to validate the emotion and then concentrate on what's not valid, which is the behavior, and that's what needs to be altered," she explains.

'Guilt leads to repair'

Sociologist and Columbia Business School professor Adam Galinsky stated that children who grow up in environments where their emotions are consistently dismissed may develop feelings of shame, which can hinder their productivity, according to CNBC Make It.

Shame can hinder critical thinking and problem-solving, while guilt can motivate kids to find solutions. According to Galinsky, shame is "debilitating and destabilizing," while guilt can lead to repair.

Decoupling a child's emotions from their tantrum can demonstrate that frustration and disappointment are unavoidable, but we can always choose to behave respectfully.

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