Negative Self-Talk: 4 Tips from a Neuropsychologist—"Your Thoughts Are Not the Absolute Truth"

The negative self-talk that occurs when you are overly critical of yourself can decrease your confidence. However, it is often the case that the things you worry about do not actually happen, according to Judy Ho, a neuropsychologist and professor at Pepperdine University.

In 2019, a study at Penn State University had 29 individuals with generalized anxiety disorder record their daily worries for 10 days and monitored the results for a month. Surprisingly, the majority of their concerns did not manifest. In fact, 91.4% of worry predictions did not materialize.

In her TED Talk, Ho explains how negative self-talk can hinder the achievement of your objectives.

"Negative self-talk may seem like a motivational tool, but it often leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy, as we end up fulfilling what we believe in our heads, according to Ho's statement to CNBC Make It."

To break the cycle of negative self-talk, it is important to be aware of the thoughts and situations that lead to pessimism and to take steps to separate yourself from anxious thinking.

1. Identify what triggers you.

What experiences trigger your rumination? Perhaps it's work meetings or big parties where you don't know anyone.

Ho suggests paying attention to patterns and triggers to identify a theme.

2. Question your thoughts.

You can investigate the merit of self-criticism once you determine which scenarios trigger it the most.

"Ho states that thoughts are not absolute truths and it is impossible to have tens of thousands of true thoughts."

Ask yourself what evidence supports this thought, and what evidence contradicts it.

""Evidence is observable facts, not just thoughts," Ho explains."

Ho often argues that there is more evidence that your anxiety will not occur than evidence that it will.

3. 'Yes ... but ... '

Practice a more balance thought process. Ho offers the following formula:

"Despite the challenges, I am making progress."

Instead of dwelling on your perceived inadequacy in productivity, remind yourself that you accomplished the top three tasks on your to-do list.

4. Label your feeling as a 'thought.'

"According to Ho, our brains have a natural tendency to believe that what we think is true, regardless of whether it is a positive or negative scenario. This includes imagining a catastrophic future, going back to a terrible memory, or recalling a mistake we made. Self-talk, in essence, transports us to that moment in time, making us feel as though it is happening right in front of us."

Rewritten sentence: Label your thoughts as just thoughts to create some distance between yourself and your self-talk.

""By saying 'I'm just having the thought and it doesn't have to be true,' you're creating a distance between the thought and your reality, rather than automatically accepting it as part of your belief system," Ho explains."

Focusing on the positive aspects of your stories can help you achieve your goals and break the cycle of negativity.

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