First date: The most important question to ask a dating coach
Job interviews and first dates share a similarity in that both require you to present the best version of yourself. However, in both situations, your focus on being understood and liked may hinder your ability to truly get to know the other person.
A recent study by Plenty of Fish found that nearly half of single individuals have experienced a date where the other person failed to ask them any personal questions.
According to Blaine Anderson, a dating coach and founder of Dating by Blaine in Austin, Texas, the key to making a great first impression is to shift your focus from yourself to your date.
What is the main point of Anderson's statement?
How? By using their date's answer to talk about themselves.
Instead of changing the subject to your own crazy day when your date talks about theirs, you can ask a "support question" to gain more insight into what made their day chaotic and how they're feeling, according to Anderson.
The 3 ingredients of a good question
According to communications expert Matt Abrahams, demonstrating empathy and asking someone to expand on their thoughts shows that you care.
He states that these tools and assets are valuable for both career growth and strengthening relationships.
To make your date feel heard, ask questions that demonstrate you were listening, according to Abrahams.
- Be concise
- Can you elaborate on the specific aspects of the project that you are struggling with?
- Revolve around a focused idea
Anderson advises asking questions related to their priorities without directly asking about them to determine if there is a potential match between you two.
"Based on their descriptions of their leisure activities and social connections, one can infer a great deal," she remarks.
If your date informs you that their family was in town last weekend, you can inquire about how frequently they visit or what activities they enjoy during their visits.
The "support questions" demonstrate that you were paying attention and can aid in determining if you and I are compatible.
Ask about something that is 'easy to have an opinion about'
Can you please provide me with your email address so I can send you the necessary information?
Grace Lee, a dating coach and founder of A Good First Date, says that asking questions can put your date at ease.
"The objective of a first date is to ensure that you don't miss out on someone exceptional. Your aim is to set them up for success so that you can bring out their full potential."
What is something that is "easy to have an opinion about," Lee suggests? A cocktail menu, for instance, can offer a secure environment for individuals to express their trivial views.
"Lee says, 'You're at a bar and you ask, "Oh are you a tequila person?" or "What's your drink of the season?"'
Anderson claims that while job interviews and dates share some similarities, dates are intended to be flirty.
""Asking the right questions can set a positive and romantic tone on your date," she advises."
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