According to author Mel Robbins, there are three reasons why it is challenging to form new friendships as you age: 'It's impossible to force friendships.'

Friendships can be more challenging to maintain as we age, but research shows that positive social relationships can combat anxiety, increase happiness, and even help us live longer.

In a recent episode of Jay Shetty's podcast, Mel Robbins tries to unravel the mystery of why it's challenging to make friends as an adult.

According to Robbins, the rules of friendship undergo a complete transformation when one reaches their twenties.

According to Robbins, for a friendship to be successful, three specific elements must coincide.

1. Proximity

Robbins stated that as a child, you were frequently surrounded by peers.

We were always surrounded by people our age due to our involvement in school, sports groups, or church activities.

According to 2018 data from Pew Research Center, more than half of Americans, 58%, do not reside in the community where they grew up. As a result, many of the friendships formed during childhood may be challenging to maintain.

Consistently seeing someone is essential to being their friend.

2. Timing

As you age, you'll encounter a greater variety of individuals at different stages of their lives.

"Robbins stated that individuals are on varying timelines, with some friends getting married, others going to graduate school, and others pursuing jobs."

Connecting with individuals who share similar challenges and achievements is easier.

3. Energy

The bond between two people may be difficult to maintain if their values don't align.

"If you decide to focus on fitness, the energy is off. If you have very different political beliefs, the energy is off."

The reason why an adult friendship often falls apart is due to the dissolution of one or more of the three essential components. Although it may be difficult to acknowledge, Robbins emphasized that these things cannot be forced.

To increase the chances of making new friends as you age, concentrate on the individuals closest to you, their experiences, and the shared interests you have. By being more deliberate in your interactions, you'll be more likely to connect with the right people.

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