You are more emotionally intelligent than most if you always use these 12 phrases.

Do you exhibit behaviors that suggest emotional intelligence?

I have spent over 25 years researching and writing about emotional intelligence, and I believe the answer is yes.

My latest book "Optimal" highlights that having emotional intelligence increases the likelihood of being a high performer, being passionate about one's work, feeling content with one's job, and maintaining a positive mood at work.

The four domains of emotional intelligence that are demonstrated in practice are self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

In the workplace, there are numerous unique skills, or "competencies," that distinguish top performers, whether working in teams or as leaders. These include skills such as emotional self-awareness, emotional self-control, adaptability, achievement orientation, positive outlook, empathy, organizational awareness, influence, conflict management, inspirational leadership, coaching and mentoring, and teamwork.

These 12 phrases showcase the strengths of emotionally intelligent individuals in one of the 12 competencies.

1. 'I can handle this'

Emotional intelligence competency: Self management (self control)

Despite the challenges and stressors in life, mastering self-management, particularly emotional self-control, enables you to manage disruptive emotions such as anger or anxiety and quickly recover from upsetting situations.

2. 'I can get better and so can you'

Emotional intelligence competency: Self management (positive outlook)

With guidance and practice, everyone, including yourself, can improve their skills and tasks.

Embracing a positive outlook enables you to adapt to life's challenges and discover potential benefits in adversity.

Mastering communication and public speaking is the ultimate guide.

3. 'I'm excited about this change'

Emotional intelligence competency: Self management (adaptability)

You're able to adapt to changes and eager to learn new ways of doing and being.

4. 'This is what really matters'

Emotional intelligence competency: Self management (achievement orientation)

Focusing on your long-term objective, even amidst the daily distractions, enables you to accomplish it.

5. 'I have these thoughts because … '

Emotional intelligence competency: Self awareness

Recognizing how your thoughts and emotions affect your behavior is a key aspect of self-awareness.

Self-awareness is a prerequisite for better emotional self-control and self-management more broadly.

6. 'I get it—and I care about you'

Emotional intelligence competency: Social awareness (empathy)

There are three kinds of empathy:

• Knowing how someone thinks about what's going on
• Sensing their feelings
• Having concern for that person

Empathy, understanding, and compassion are the three aspects that strengthen relationships by fostering closeness and trust.

7. 'So that's how things work around here'

Emotional intelligence competency: Social awareness (organizational awareness)

Understanding the decision-makers in your organization can give you a significant advantage in influencing crucial dynamics.

8. 'What if you tried doing it this way?'

Emotional intelligence competency: Relationship management (influence)

You possess the ability to persuade others to view things from your perspective by offering suggestions on how they might improve.

9. 'That means so much because … '

Emotional intelligence competency: Relationship management (inspirational leadership)

Effective leaders inspire others to give their best by speaking about a common purpose with passion and sincerity.

10. 'We can work this out'

Emotional intelligence competency: Relationship management (conflict management)

The ability to manage conflict effectively involves listening to all viewpoints, acknowledging the issue, and finding mutually beneficial solutions.

11. 'We have each other's backs'

Emotional intelligence competency: Relationship management (teamwork)

When we feel like we belong and have a sense of psychological safety on our team, we are able to give our best efforts and take risks to be innovative without fear of being ostracized or put down.

Regardless of your role on the team, you understand the importance of collaborating and contributing, equally sharing both tasks and benefits.

12. 'This could help you'

Emotional intelligence competency: Relationship management (coaching and mentoring)

Providing feedback, support, and motivation is crucial in developing future leaders, strengthening teams, and organizations in the long run through coaching or mentoring.

Keep honing your emotional intelligence

The more emotionally intelligent you become, the better your performance is likely to be.

Discovering your own emotional intelligence (EI) profile is the best way to understand your strengths and limitations across the 12 must-have EI competencies. A "360" assessment, where people you know and trust rate you anonymously, is the recommended method. The Emotional and Social Competence Inventory is a tool you can try.

Understanding emotional intelligence (EI) as a comprehensive set of skills and abilities can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses, allowing you to focus on developing your areas of improvement.

Daniel Goleman, a Harvard University graduate with a PhD in psychology and personality development, is a psychologist who offers insights into the strengths of top performers through an online learning program designed to enhance emotional and social skills. He is also the author of several books, including "Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ" and "Optimal: How to Sustain Personal and Organizational Excellence Every Day."

To become a successful and confident communicator, enroll in CNBC's online course, Become an Effective Communicator: Master Public Speaking. Our program will teach you how to speak clearly and confidently, manage your nerves, choose the right words, and use effective body language to make a great first impression. Sign up now and use code EARLYBIRD for a 30% discount through July 10, 2024.