Raising mentally strong kids requires these 6 actions from parents.

If you weren't doing something to help your child succeed in life, what if there were something you could do?

It's crucial to help your child develop mental strength, which is often overshadowed by the numerous demands on your parental attention. However, given the numerous triggers for self-doubt, fear, and anxiety, as well as the barriers to resilience, focus, and positivity that kids face, it's more important than ever to prioritize this aspect of their development.

For three decades, I have been researching mental fortitude, which led to the publication of my book "The Mentally Strong Leader." I have utilized my findings to aid both adults and parents in strengthening their children's mental resilience.

My daughter, who learned mental strength through teaching, successfully transitioned into college and the "real world" with resilience and confidence.

Nurturing your kids' mental strength is key to helping them become confident, resilient, and positive-minded problem-solvers.

1. Kids love asking 'Why?' Marshall that curiosity

You've probably experienced a lot of "Why?" questions from your children.

Use the Five Whys analytical approach, developed by Japanese inventor and industrialist Sakichi Toyoda, to teach kids how to solve problems effectively.

Encourage foster children to persistently inquire, "Why?" until they arrive at the source of an issue. Typically, the underlying cause is uncovered after the question is asked five times.

Help them analyze their spending habits and make a game out of it to ensure they receive their allowance this week.

• You didn't wash the dishes like you promised, so you're not receiving your allowance.
• You played video games instead of washing the dishes.
• Why were you playing video games when you knew you shouldn't be? Because you didn't put them away. They were in front of the TV, ready to go.
• You didn't put them away because you weren't listening.
• What was the reason for not listening? It's a habit you need to improve upon.

To become mentally stronger, help your child develop the habit of analyzing problems by identifying their root cause.

2. Help them focus on authenticity, not approval

Parents' approval is natural for kids, but excessive approval-seeking can lead to a loss of authenticity.

Encourage your children to evaluate their progress based on their own expectations instead of seeking validation from others.

Instead of measuring up to others' expectations, individuals should focus on whether they achieved their goals and improved as individuals.

3. Help them put social media in context

It is wise to restrict the amount of time your children and you spend on social media, but it is not an easy task.

When conversing with your children about the social media they encounter, encourage them not to compare their bloopers to others' highlight reels. Help them comprehend that influencers often present carefully curated impressions that do not accurately depict real life, and that they should not strive for the unattainable standards they encounter.

Viewing social media as primarily entertainment can help prevent or lessen feelings of inadequacy.

4. Help them focus on process versus outcome

Encourage kids to embrace the journey rather than fixating on the destination to prevent perfectionism.

Especially when they're encountering setbacks in their efforts, ask them:

• "Are you learning along the way here?"
• "Are you having fun?"
• "Are you growing and improving?"

The true triumph lies in asking these questions, which directs their attention to the positive aspects of their journey.

While striving for a great outcome is important, being overly fixated on results can negatively impact children's mental resilience as there are numerous factors beyond their control that can affect the outcome.

5. Don't let them get stuck in 'it's not fair'

To prevent children from developing a victim mentality, it's crucial to ask them a key question: "Do you simply want things to change, or do you want to actively make those changes happen?"

The latter is proactive and helps turn your kids into change-leaders, which can build up their mental strength.

6. Help them focus on what they can control

Kids often experience anxiety from worrying about things beyond their control.

You can perform "Control Checks" with them. Have them list all their concerns. Then have them mark off only the things they can control and discuss with them how they can take action on those items.

By focusing on mental strength, children can learn to allocate their energy in a way that benefits them. This exercise helps them reduce their worries and direct their energy towards taking action to improve their situation, ultimately reducing their anxiety.

Scott Mautz is a well-known speaker, trainer, and LinkedIn Learning instructor. He was previously a senior executive at Procter & Gamble, where he oversaw several of the company's largest multi-billion-dollar businesses. He is the author of "The Mentally Strong Leader: Develop the Skills to Control Your Emotions, Thoughts, and Actions." Connect with him on LinkedIn.

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