Psychologist reveals 5 toxic money habits of narcissists that often go unnoticed or ignored.

Unfortunately, in recent years, the rise of narcissistic traits such as grandiosity, superiority, entitlement, and a lack of empathy has made narcissists one of the most challenging personalities to be around.

Often, these traits are overlooked or disregarded, especially by individuals who lack knowledge about narcissism or have low self-esteem.

My research as a psychologist has shown that narcissism, a personality type characterized by extreme self-involvement, can negatively affect the mental health and functioning of individuals, particularly when money is involved.

Narcissists use money to manipulate and control others in order to feel better about themselves.

Narcissists often exhibit toxic money habits, and here are some ways to manage them.

1. They are secretive about their finances.

In intimate relationships, individuals may be evasive about their financial status, such as their income or savings.

By keeping you in the dark, they can make unilateral financial decisions and manipulate your perception of your financial capabilities as a couple or a family. They may say, "Let me handle our finances so you don't have to worry about it."

A narcissistic co-founder may nonchalantly state, "As the creative genius, I'll handle the tedious financial matters."

If you lack confidence in managing money, it may seem tempting to delegate it to a partner. However, this can result in severe consequences, such as a decline in your credit score if payments are not made promptly.

Always be involved and informed in any financial decision that affects you.

2. They are only generous with money in public.

Narcissists often use spending money on others as a way to gain approval. While they may be private and stingy, they publicly show generosity through dinners and gifts.

The narcissist's closest person often experiences isolation and frustration due to the gap between the outside world's perception and reality.

A husband angrily talks about "freeloading guests" after paying for an expensive dinner with friends.

Dealing with a self-centered narcissist can be mentally draining. To maintain your sanity in this relationship, learn to process your emotions through writing in a journal or seeking guidance from a therapist.

If they are unwilling to change, it might be necessary to set strict emotional boundaries or exit the relationship altogether.

3. They skimp on the essentials.

Narcissists often prioritize self-indulgence over basic necessities, such as food and healthcare, while also being extravagant with non-essential expenses like designer watches.

Those in intimate relationships with narcissists may have to quietly save money to take care of themselves, which I call the "narcissistic survival skim." Although it may be difficult, it can feel easier than arguing with a narcissist.

This behavior is also common in business, where a founder or CEO may prioritize their own comfort and luxury while neglecting to pay their employees fairly.

Narcissists often struggle to acknowledge the emotions and requirements of others due to their self-centered outlook.

If the dynamic is affecting your ability to put food on the table or run a business, have an honest conversation with them. Afterward, reflect on whether the relationship is worth holding on to.

4. They are hypocritical.

Entitlement is a form of hypocrisy that goes hand in hand with narcissism.

Narcissists often believe that rules, including budgets, do not apply to them, despite their tendency to impose those same rules on others.

A partner who is narcissistic may frequently overspend on themselves and exceed the joint budget, while also criticizing you for spending more than they consider necessary.

A coworker frequently takes her subordinates to expensive dinners but frequently criticizes you for occasionally eating out for lunch.

Keep records of inequitable or reckless spending, as it may be useful for legal purposes in the future.

A narcissist's perception of financial fairness is often inconsistent with what is truly fair.

5. They are punitive with money.

Narcissists frequently employ money as a means of retribution. They may bestow financial rewards when you comply with their wishes, only to withhold money when they feel vengeful. This can create a sense of insecurity, degradation, and confusion.

You may feel obligated to play their game just to keep the household or business running, but they may plan a luxurious vacation for your birthday and then refuse to pay for essential expenses after an argument.

To be ready for this dynamic, set aside some funds for basic expenses. Having a plan in place will help you manage or exit the situation more effectively, rather than being caught off guard.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a psychologist, professor of psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and founder of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting, where she educates individuals and businesses on the impacts of narcissism on mental health. She is also the author of two books on narcissism and its effects, and can be followed on Twitter @DoctorRamani.

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