Ivy League-trained psychologist: The Importance of Setting Boundaries for Parents

While most parents would go to great lengths to make their children happy, a child psychologist believes that it's not always possible to give kids exactly what they want in the moment, and that can actually be a positive thing.

"According to Becky Kennedy, a Columbia University-trained child psychologist, saying "no" to our kids is crucial in demonstrating our love for them, as she stated on her recent podcast episode "Good Inside.""

Kennedy stated that parents who frequently say "yes" to their kids, either instinctively or to prevent tantrums, unintentionally harm their children in the long run. By giving in too easily, parents can inadvertently undermine essential boundaries that help children develop appropriate and respectful behavior.

"Kennedy stated that valuing our kids' wants and needs is crucial, regardless of whether we say "yes" or "no" in any given situation. In fact, she argued that it can be dangerous for our kids to equate being valued with getting what they want."

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According to Kennedy, being told "no" helps children learn to cope with disappointment and develop patience. However, kids who lack these traits may struggle to develop the ambition and motivation they'll need to be happy and successful as adults, research shows.

Kennedy, a mother of three, acknowledged that her own children also become upset when she refuses to give them what they desire at that moment. She advised staying firm and consistent, and choosing your battles wisely to increase the likelihood of saying "yes" more frequently.

"At times, I struggle with this too," said Kennedy.

Kennedy stated that a parent's two most significant responsibilities are establishing limits to safeguard their children and imparting crucial life lessons, while also validating their emotions to foster trust and enable them to manage their emotions effectively.

Rewritten: Embracing difficult "no" as accomplishments can make it easier, she pointed out. When your child responds negatively, focus on your second job - validating their feelings by listening and offering support. Kennedy emphasized that this often boils down to three simple words: "I believe you."

Kennedy stated that the straightforward, consistent procedure fosters trust and establishes expectations for kids, ultimately promoting their emotional growth.

Setting our kids up to be entitled in the world is not what we want, as conflating feeling wanted and valued with getting what we want can be hugely important for adult life skills.

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