In Denmark, one of the world's happiest countries, a 32-year-old American has discovered the No. 1 secret to creating a prosperous life.

Despite Denmark being recognized as one of the happiest countries globally, it's also considered challenging to establish friendships and adapt as an expat there. However, this didn't deter me initially.

After moving to Czechia in 2014 to teach English, I created a large community there, despite the low friendliness towards foreigners. Later, in late 2018, my Czech partner and I relocated to Odense, a city of approximately 187,000 on the Danish island of Funen, where my partner planned to pursue his master's in robotics.

But as a self-employed copywriter, adapting was more challenging than I expected.

I discovered that the Danes I encountered during conversations at book club meetings or job fairs were more focused on my dedication to Denmark than on getting to know me as a person. They would inquire about my stay in Denmark or my proficiency in the language. At first, I felt disheartened by their apparent lack of interest in my personality.

Danes are known for being friendly but reserved, tending to stick to the close-knit groups they formed during their childhood and school years. While many enjoy engaging in small talk, it often revolves around complaining about the weather, a pastime that transcends cultural boundaries.

The Covid lockdowns made the situation even more challenging. However, during the initial reopening, I encountered a Danish man who stated that forming new friendships is as difficult for Danes in a new city as it is for internationals.

Although it initially discouraged me, my decision to leave my comfort zone has led me to achieve success and build a fulfilling life.

Discovering common hobbies and interests with my new neighbors through attending a variety of events, both for internationals and Danes, has allowed me to find community, feel a sense of belonging, and personal growth.

Joining a club and becoming the 'unofficial people person'

Denmark has at least 100,000 voluntary clubs and associations, called foreninger.

We joined the board of Repair Cafe Odense, a local branch of an international organization, to help people repair their broken electronics, torn clothes, and other items for free.

As RCO's unofficial ambassador, I welcome visitors, pair them with a repair volunteer, and follow up with them throughout the process. My goal is to ensure that they leave satisfied, even if we can't repair their item. Many of them return to our events regularly, expressing their gratitude and promoting our cause.

Engaging with visitors allows me to enhance my Danish language skills by going beyond discussing the weather and delving into the stories behind various items, as well as discussing sustainability in Denmark and beyond.

Rikke has been more than just a Danish teacher to me. She has been a mentor who has guided me not only in class but also outside of it. She has invited me to paint ceramics, celebrate Sankt Hans with her family, and even go trick-or-treating with her.

Facing my fear of heights through bouldering: 'Camaraderie serves as a bridge'

In 2022, after Denmark lifted all Covid restrictions, a friend convinced me to try climbing at a bouldering gym. Despite being only five feet tall and terrified of heights, I surprised myself by finishing a tough route on the first day.

I was immediately hooked.

The gym is a welcoming community where fellow climbers offer to assist me with my technique or cheer me on during challenging routes. It feels natural to support and encourage other familiar faces, particularly other short female climbers who share similar struggles.

Our shared sense of camaraderie facilitates further conversation, as we exchange notes on our progress and sometimes lament about the extra centimeters needed to reach the next grip.

I regularly boulder with a diverse group of Danes and internationals, consisting of my partner's coworkers and my former colleagues from a part-time copywriting job.

We started meeting up regularly outside the gym for coffee dates, Friendsgiving, which I've hosted the last five years, two of them with my first Danish friend Pernille, and karaoke.

Karaoke allows us to connect with others through music.

Singing together is a universal language that unites people of all ages and backgrounds, as I have witnessed during the monthly karaoke sessions at Ungdomshuset Odense, a community center for young people in many Danish cities.

One of my go-to songs is Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now." The Danish version of "I'll Make a Man Out of You" tends to get a particularly positive reception. One regular's performances of Käärijä's "Cha Cha Cha" are always met with a standing ovation.

We sometimes practice duets outside of karaoke and celebrate each other's performances.

We track each other's lives through music, acknowledging an illness that prevented someone from leaving home and celebrating a milestone in someone's gender transition that enables them to sing with a new voice.

Building community: 'What I've learned is useful for anyone'

Since relocating, I've realized that Denmark is a society that values trust. Oral commitments hold weight. Infants are often left in strollers outside of cafes.

Breaking through the tough exterior of this "coconut culture" is worth the effort to reach the warmth within.

The advice I've gained is applicable not only to individuals in Denmark but to anyone seeking to establish meaningful relationships and foster a sense of community: Identify common interests and immerse yourself in them. This approach promotes daily social interactions, which have been shown to enhance happiness and enrich one's life in any location.

Chloé Skye Weiser is a journalist and storyteller who focuses on coffee culture, climate, circularity, and sexual and reproductive health and rights. She is originally from NYC but currently resides in Denmark. She founded Chlohemian Copy, a content strategy firm. Connect with her on LinkedIn or Instagram.

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