If you consistently use these 7 phrases, you are a more mentally resilient couple than most.

If you've ever admired a couple that seems to have it together, you might be curious about their secret. Spoiler: Effective communication is the key. Their words not only reflect their resilience but also contribute to it.

By following the advice in my book "13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do," you can improve any relationship, regardless of whether it's romantic or not, through the use of empathetic phrases that build connections.

If you and your partner frequently use these phrases, it suggests that you are already a mentally resilient couple. On the other hand, if you haven't yet, incorporating them into your communication can help you both grow stronger individually and as a team.

1. 'Help me understand'

Mentally strong individuals prioritize understanding others' viewpoints before sharing their own opinions.

What could I do differently next time to avoid feeling frustrated?

They are not defensive and are willing to listen to their partner's feelings and thoughts before expressing their own emotions and opinions.

2. 'I appreciate you'

Partners may overlook each other's efforts as time goes on, and the small gestures that were once appreciated may become routine.

Expressing gratitude through words and gestures can help maintain a strong bond.

Acknowledging your partner's contributions affirms their value as a member of your team.

I am about to share with you some information that might cause you distress.

Addressing relationship issues is crucial, even if it may seem uncomfortable. Ignoring them can harm the relationship.

Having difficult conversations can be uncomfortable, but they can also strengthen your relationship.

Being truthful about your mistakes and expressing your requirements can strengthen your relationship.

4. 'How can I help right now?'

While it's natural to offer advice or solutions to your partner, they may actually prefer if you simply listen or offer emotional support.

Rewritten: By asking this question, you demonstrate your commitment to collaborating with your partner rather than dictating their actions.

It shows that you value their capacity to express their requirements directly.

I regret my role in this.

It is crucial to take responsibility for your role in a situation, even if you believe your partner is more responsible, for mutual growth.

You may have ignored the problem or addressed it in an unhelpful manner in the past.

If you take ownership of your part in the problem, your partner may be more likely to take ownership of theirs, allowing you both to focus on finding a solution instead of blaming each other.

6. 'It's understandable you feel that way'

You don't need to share the same emotions as your partner to validate their feelings. Even if you don't feel the same way about an upcoming move or an extended family visit, you can still show empathy.

It's understandable that you feel that way.

They don't need to justify their emotions, and you don't have to try to change them.

7. 'Let's find a solution'

Couples who are mentally strong can overcome financial difficulties and childcare challenges together.

Offering to work together with your partner on their problems, even if they are beyond your control, demonstrates your commitment to supporting them in making the best decision for themselves.

Strong couples work together to find solutions by brainstorming, researching, or evaluating the pros and cons of a strategy.

Every obstacle presents a chance to strengthen as individuals and as a couple.

Using strong language can help you grow and strengthen relationships.

Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, clinical social worker, and instructor at Northeastern University. She is the author of two books, "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do" and "13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do." Her TEDx talk "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong" is one of the most viewed talks of all time. Follow her on Instagram and Facebook.

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