If you ask yourself this question every day, you'll be mentally stronger than most: It's a game-changer.
I regularly ponder what actions I took to strengthen my mental fortitude, and this introspection is not merely a self-indulgent activity; it is a tactical method that bolsters my self-consciousness and tenacity.
Reflecting on challenges daily has been a game-changer for me, shifting my approach and pushing me toward growth in the short-term and long-term.
Many of my clients have found control over overwhelming situations through the same question.
Why I started asking myself this question every day
As a novice therapist, I encountered a barrier when some of my clients weren't progressing as quickly as expected. Seeking advice from my supervisor, I overcame my self-doubt and improved my approach.
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Despite not being able to manage all aspects of my clients' lives, I focused on controlling my own personal development. This led me to ask myself daily: "What actions did I take to strengthen my mental resilience?"
I evaluated my day based on my ability to remain patient, challenge negative thoughts, and persevere through challenging situations.
Over time, my nighttime check-ins became the foundation for my mental strength, and my daily reflection helped build my awareness and confidence.
How this practice helped my therapy clients
I worked with a young professional who suffered from anxiety, particularly in social settings at work. She would spend hours every evening replaying conversations she'd had during the day, fixating on moments when she thought she'd said the "wrong" thing.
Reframing her thoughts by focusing on her moments of courage every night helped her reflect on her mental strength.
As she gained confidence, reduced her anxiety, and stopped overthinking every word she said, she started celebrating the fact that she spoke up in meetings even when she felt terrified.
I introduced this concept to a single father who was juggling the challenges of parenting and a demanding career.
He used to criticize himself for not being a good parent, but by focusing on his strengths, such as staying calm during his three-year-old's tantrum, he developed a greater sense of self-compassion and confidence.
How to make this daily question a game-changer
The exercise is quick but effective when practiced regularly. Remember to keep a few things in mind while using it.
1. Focus on what you can control
Life presents many uncontrollable factors, such as other people's behavior, unforeseen obstacles, and the elements.
Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, focus on the actions you took and celebrate what you did right. This will shift your energy toward solutions and empower you to continue improving.
2. Always strive to grow
Growing mental strength is a continuous process that requires daily practice. Asking this question daily helps you stay accountable and committed to personal growth, whether it's through small accomplishments or significant breakthroughs.
With consistent effort, you can build resilience and better handle challenges.
3. Enhance your self-awareness
Reflecting on your thoughts, feelings, and behavior helps you understand yourself better and discover effective strategies for managing stress, building confidence, and calming your nerves.
Mental strength is enhanced by self-awareness, which enables you to control your emotions and handle relationships more effectively.
4. Stay optimistic
Mental strength isn't about being flawless; it's about advancing, learning from errors, and handling life's unpredictable challenges.
This question helps you refocus on what truly matters during challenging times.
Rewritten sentence: Every time you answer, you're giving yourself a little dose of optimism.
Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, clinical social worker, and instructor at Northeastern University. She is the author of several books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," and her TEDx talk "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong" is one of the most viewed talks of all time. Follow her on Instagram and Facebook.
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