How to host a birthday dinner without breaking the bank or appearing cheap, according to etiquette experts.

Watching a friend blow out candles on their birthday cake can be enjoyable, but if they choose to celebrate in a way that costs a lot of money, you might feel like you're blowing your last dollar.

A 2023 survey from YouGov found that over 80% of Americans celebrate their birthday with a special meal, with 40% doing so every year. For my friends, a special meal typically involves a fancy restaurant dinner.

Despite being a college student with limited income, I usually prioritize attending celebrations with friends, even if it means incurring additional expenses.

According to Elaine Swann, an etiquette expert and founder of Swann School of Protocol, while she doesn't regret those experiences, mandatory outings that are expensive can create resentment among friends. She explains that this can cause a bit of angst and part of it is due to a lack of communication. To avoid this, she advises people to be honest about their position and approach the situation in a respectful manner.

Here are two ways to celebrate your friends without exceeding your budget, according to etiquette experts.

1. Only order what you can afford

Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and owner of The Protocol School of Texas, suggests eating beforehand and ordering an appetizer as your meal if the restaurant your friend is eyeing is too expensive for you.

"When you arrive, you say, 'I love their brisket. I'm just going to get the brisket. This will be my meal,'" Gottsman tells CNBC Make It. "So, it doesn't make you look cheap. You spin it to make it comfortable for you."

Catching the end of a celebration after the appetizer and main course can help keep expenses more reasonable, advises Lizzie Post of The Emily Post Institute.

I can't attend the entire dinner, but I can arrive in time for dessert and contribute to the meal.

2. Suggest a one-on-one celebration instead

If a restaurant is out of your price range, it's okay to politely decline and come back later when you have more funds, Swann advises.

If you are invited to an event and you check the menu in advance, and you find that the establishment is outside of your budget, your answer should be no.

Swann suggests privately declining the invitation without providing reasons.

Celebrate your friend by doing something together within your budget, such as a coffee date or spa night at home, Swann suggests.

Although it may be tempting to participate in enjoyable activities, it's important to stick to your budget to avoid falling into debt, which can have long-lasting consequences.

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