Hospice nurse shares the top 3 regrets people have on their deathbeds and what they can teach us about living meaningfully.

Hospice nurse shares the top 3 regrets people have on their deathbeds and what they can teach us about living meaningfully.
Hospice nurse shares the top 3 regrets people have on their deathbeds and what they can teach us about living meaningfully.

Julie McFadden, a hospice nurse, devotes her days to assisting individuals in their final stages of life.

Her job allows her to observe the regrets people commonly express on their deathbeds, which she believes provides insight into how individuals can lead more fulfilling lives. Although some people find her work uncomfortable, her patients and their families are always eager to discuss death with her when she speaks with them.

Discussing death and contemplating one's own mortality, according to McFadden, can enhance one's quality of life and contribute to a more peaceful passing.

McFadden frequently hears these three regrets from her hospice patients.

  1. McFadden says that the No. 1 thing people regret is not appreciating their health when they had it.
  2. Some people regret working so hard throughout their careers, leaving them with little time to enjoy life.
  3. McFadden says that her patients often expressed regret for not apologizing when they should have, not reconnecting with their estranged sister sooner, or caring too much about what others thought. They also regretted not living the life they wanted but the life that those around them wanted.

Hospice nurse Julie McFadden, who has been in the field for 16 years, including eight years of hospice and palliative care work, believes that people who are not immediately facing death can benefit from contemplating the end of life. Her TikTok account, "hospice nurse Julie," has an audience of 1.6 million followers and features videos about the science of dying and her medical care experiences.

"Resisting something doesn't make it disappear," she argues. "Discussing a topic doesn't guarantee its occurrence. Talking about something we fear doesn't amplify the fear; instead, it often diminishes it."

An exercise to get ahead of regrets

McFadden suggests that everyone should ponder a question daily: If I had only six months left to live, what would I alter in my life? Although it may seem morbid, this exercise can aid in clarifying one's priorities and determining what they truly desire in life, she explains.

McFadden suggests that introspection is not about immediately engaging in extreme activities, but rather about appreciating the small pleasures in everyday life, such as the taste of food and coffee, the warmth of sunlight on your face, and the ability to move, eat, and communicate with others.

""Being grateful for the present moment is important because we don't always have our health or life," she remarks."

Shoshana Ungerleider, a doctor of internal medicine and founder of the nonprofit End Well Foundation, advised in September that as a doctor, she would recommend eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly, and avoiding things like smoking and high-risk activities. She also emphasized the importance of reflecting on mortality.

Ungerleider stated that contemplating our own mortality, regardless of age, helps us lead a more fulfilling life with greater meaning and purpose.

Alua Arthur, an end-of-life planning and support expert, advised "The Happiness Lab" podcast in July that embracing the inevitability of death can help us appreciate the small pleasures in life.

"Being grounded in my mortality makes me appreciate the sensory experiences I have now," Arthur said. "For example, how cool is it that I can feel cold on my hands? How cool is it that I have plates to eat off of?"

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