Criticism for bringing up wealth on first dates in 'Love is Blind' contestant's case: How to discuss money while dating

In the current season of Netflix's reality dating program "Love is Blind," a male participant quickly attracted multiple female participants due to his honest statement about his financial status.

The show follows a group of individuals who participate in blind dates, where they can only hear their date but not see them. The objective is to find a match and eventually get engaged, at which point they can reveal their faces to one another.

Leo Baudy, a 31-year-old art dealer, is seeking a partner who values him for more than just his wealth, which he inherited from deceased relatives. Despite this, he is quick to mention his financial success during dates.

"Why does Baudy constantly mention his wealth and career when he claims he doesn't want girls to date him for those reasons?" asked one user on X.

While TV may not always accurately depict reality, discussing money on a first date or in a new relationship can be a challenging topic for many individuals. In fact, a 2022 survey from The Balance revealed that 44% of adults would not go on a second date with someone who brought up money on the first date.

Discussing finances on a first date is generally advised against by dating and etiquette experts. However, it is important to discuss money if you are considering a long-term partnership with someone. It can also be a source of stress for individuals who may have unresolved feelings about money, whether it's about having too much or too little.

Here's how to bring it up gracefully.

Subtlety over secrecy

Some individuals may find certain financial situations, such as debt or a lack of financial literacy, to be deal breakers in a romantic partner. However, discussing money too early in a relationship can be uncomfortable and unappealing.

When dating, it's important to be transparent about your finances without revealing too much information, such as your credit report and score, advises financial therapist Lindsay Bryan-Podvin to CNBC Make It.

To get hints, introduce conversation topics that can provide insight into someone's interests and preferences, such as their favorite vacation or travel plans.

Instead of asking about specific tasks or projects, Bryan-Podvin recommends discussing big-picture goals, such as owning a home or relocating to a new city.

Rewritten: By examining the types of questions they ask, you can infer their financial status, spending habits, and lifestyle. Whether someone is planning international vacations or road trips may be more or less appealing to you.

'Lead with vulnerability'

People have varying experiences with money, with some being reserved and reluctant to divulge, while others, like Baudy, may appear dismissive of others' financial situations.

Bryan-Podvin advises embracing your feelings about money and being transparent in a respectful manner.

"Instead of using your wealth as a way to avoid attracting a gold digger, you can be vulnerable and open about your feelings."

It's beneficial for your partner to understand that you ask a lot of money-related questions because of past negative experiences and your desire to be cautious, so they can better comprehend your perspective when discussing topics such as sharing bills and setting financial goals together.

"Bryan-Podvin says, "The big worry is often that if we talk about money, people will think us weird. However, when we don't discuss it, we assume others can read our mind, leading to anger when their interpretation doesn't match our true thoughts.""

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