An executive coach advises against using toxic words at work, as they can hinder progress.

Eric, a program manager at a fast-growing tech company, is driven to advance his career and is well-suited to handle more responsibilities. He yearns for exposure to senior management and aspires to eventually reach a director-level position.

Despite his ambition and potential, Eric frequently uses the toxic words "I'll wait."

• When a new leadership opportunity arises, he tells himself that he will wait until he completes his major project rollout before making a decision.
• He decides to wait until after his quarterly review before pitching an idea to his boss.
• He justifies answering emails at 11 p.m. again by saying he will wait until the new year to be more definite about his work hours.
• He tells himself that he will wait for things to calm down before requesting a raise, but it never happens.

As an executive coach for over a decade, I've witnessed this pattern multiple times.

Waiting may seem reasonable, but it will only hinder your progress.

Why saying 'I'll wait' can be toxic for your career

From my experience working with numerous accomplished professionals, I've discovered that "I'll wait" is often a manifestation of perfectionism in disguise, as it allows you to avoid potential failure or criticism.

You think you're being cautious and getting ready, but you might just be evading discomfort.

The two words "justify" and "trap" enable you to rationalize your difficulties and become ensnared in the habit of people-pleasing and overthinking.

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You may feel undervalued and frustrated if you're like Eric and sacrifice work-life balance while watching colleagues get promoted ahead of you. Each "I'll wait" reinforces the belief that you're not quite ready or good enough.

The longer you wait, the less confident you become, and the more you procrastinate.

If you continue to wait for the ideal moment, you will never achieve the confidence, compensation, and recognition you desire.

Awaiting does not necessarily lead to a reduction in stress, self-doubt, and dissatisfaction.

So how do you stop the cycle?

Investigate your impulse to wait

Instead of saying "I'll wait," pause and examine the reasons behind your hesitation. Are they grounded in specific observations or are they based on unfounded fears and speculations? Consider asking yourself questions to clarify your thoughts and make a more informed decision.

• What is the basis for your decision to wait before applying for the promotion? Is it based on external facts or internal feelings? If you cite external factors such as the approval of the new budget, then your decision is likely grounded in reality. However, if you delay applying due to a lack of confidence in your leadership abilities, then emotions may be influencing your approach.

• If I act now, what's the worst that could happen? Is that outcome truly likely? You may fear that if you pitch your idea, your boss could reject it and view you negatively. However, in reality, your manager is likely to appreciate your initiative and innovative thinking, even if they don't implement your idea right away.

• Which of these two thoughts is more specific: "I'll wait to volunteer for the cross-functional project after I've completed my current assignment" or "I'll volunteer when I've built enough trust with the engineering team"? The first statement has a clear, time-bound condition, while the second relies on an ambiguous sense of experience that could keep you on pause indefinitely.

Define your criteria for 'good enough'

Set achievable benchmarks for taking action that don't require perfection. For example, you may decide to present in larger meetings after receiving positive feedback on three lower-stakes presentations.

Breaking down larger goals into smaller, achievable milestones can increase confidence and motivation to tackle bigger challenges.

Instead of waiting for new leadership to suggest changes to how we work, you could start keeping track of what is and isn't working in your current processes.

To prepare for the new leadership, you could chat informally with colleagues to gather diverse perspectives and ideas.

Build your tolerance for ambiguity

By developing your capacity to endure difficult emotions, such as fear of failure or uncertainty, you demonstrate to yourself that it is safe to take action even when you don't have all the answers or any assurances. As a result, you become less prone to procrastination and overthinking, as you are better equipped to handle discomfort rather than avoid it.

As time goes on, you'll become less discouraged by the possibility of obstacles or criticism, which are often the underlying causes of "I'll wait."

Make quick decisions on everyday choices without getting bogged down by analysis paralysis.

Make it a habit to put yourself in uncomfortable situations on a regular basis. It doesn't have to be a big leap; try out new software, help on a project outside your usual scope, or initiate conversations with coworkers you don't often speak to.

By becoming accustomed to handling small tasks and obstacles, you will be better equipped to confidently seize opportunities when they arise.

Melody Wilding, LMSW is a coach and author who offers a free copy of Chapter One from her book "Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work."

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