Advice from a solo dad who has successfully raised 36 children

In the past seven years, Peter Mutabazi has single-handedly fostered or adopted 36 children.

Currently, he is looking after kids aged two to 19, including three of his adopted children.

Mutabazi, who was raised in rural Uganda, ran away from home at the age of 10 and became a street kid in Kampala, sleeping under stationary vehicles, selling peanuts at a bus station, and surviving off fruit taken from stands at a market.

Mutabazi, who grew up as the poorest of the poor, became a street kid and strived to improve his life, as he shared with CNBC through a video call.

For five years, he lived in this manner, transporting people's shopping in exchange for bananas or plantains and giving away any leftover food he had with other kids.

James, a teenager, befriended the boy after Mutabazi helped him with shopping. James paid for Mutabazi to attend a small Christian school, where he eventually thrived. Sometimes, Mutabazi borrowed richer children's books in exchange for doing their homework.

During a break from high school to university, Mutabazi worked as a relief worker, delivering food and medicine to children in Rwandan refugee camps after the genocide in the mid-1990s.

After completing degrees in Uganda, the U.K., and the U.S., he became a manager at Compassion International, a non-profit organization that raises funds to support children in developing countries.

Becoming a solo foster father

At the age of 43, Mutabazi became a foster father.

In his memoir "Now I Am Known," Mutabazi wrote that he left home young because his own father was abusive, and he feared becoming like him. Additionally, he believed that a single, black man would not be allowed to foster children.

He had never encountered a black individual who was adopting from Uganda, Ethiopia, or China. They were always Caucasians and married, he stated to CNBC.

A conversation with a colleague, a white American man who had adopted a black baby, made him reconsider his assumptions.

Mutabazi questioned his level of commitment to assisting children in his non-profit role and recognized the need to increase his efforts. He wrote in his book, "Although I knew I was making a difference in the lives of children, I realized that my actions kept them at a safe distance. I would make my trips and send my checks, but at the end of the day, I would come home and shut off mentally."

Mutabazi, now 49, has resided in the U.S. for 18 years. When he first arrived in the country, he was taken aback by its wealth and advancement. However, he noticed a gap between the prosperity of the nation and the struggles faced by its children.

He suggested mentoring at-risk children to a fostering agency in Oklahoma City, where he resided. However, a social worker inquired if he would be interested in fostering and informed him that, as a single man, he was eligible to do so.

In order to become a foster parent, Mutabazi underwent numerous interviews, background checks, and took several months of classes called MAPP, which educate foster parents on the needs of children who have experienced trauma.

He discovered that attending classes helped him cope with his own trauma. 'I didn't want my past to haunt me in the future,' Mutabazi said of his challenging upbringing. However, after realizing his potential as a father, he stated, 'I can be a great dad and parent in the best way possible,' to CNBC. Now, in addition to being a foster dad, he runs the Now I Am Known Foundation, where he transforms teenagers' living spaces.

Dealing with anger

Mutabazi, the first child he fostered, was a five-year-old boy who would sometimes have screaming fits. One time, he cried for three hours nonstop, and at the end of it he just said, "Daddy, can you hold me?" Mutabazi told CNBC.

Mutabazi stated that once he entered an angry state, he was unable to return to normalcy.

He said, "My approach was to focus on helping the kid regulate and control his anger while also making him feel supported, rather than just reacting to what I saw, which helped me understand the root cause and parent him effectively."

"Despite the challenges, the boy yearned for comfort and I am grateful for being able to provide it to him," he wrote in his book.

Words of affirmation

As a teenager living with James and his family, Mutabazi would carry a notebook and record the positive things James said to him. In his memoir, he recounted how James often praised his bravery for enduring the hardships in his life.

Mutabazi used the "words of affirmation" as a guide to speak positively to the children in his care. He memorized the phrases "you're chosen," "you matter," "you're special," "you're enough," "you're a gift," "you're not alone," and "I make sure that with my kids, I'm going to use those words at all times." He shared this with CNBC.

His steering wheel, fridge, closet, and even dog's tag bear the same phrases.

Mutabazi, who has adopted his son Anthony at 11 years old, has helped him overcome abandonment issues through reassurance. "That has really helped him to know, hey, my dad loves me no matter what, despite the challenges that I have," Mutabazi stated.

Small wins

Mutabazi demonstrates love for the children in his care by celebrating their smaller accomplishments. "I come from the poorest place you could imagine, and I have overcome trauma in so many different ways that I do not expect my child to do the same overnight," he stated.

"I'm grateful for that," he told CNBC after one of the teenagers in his care struggled to make his bed.

"Through the small things, I have demonstrated my love and faithfulness to them," he stated.

Coping with teens

If you put yourself as a mentor rather than a parent when dealing with 14- or 15-year-olds, it can be helpful.

"When looking at your teenager, consider the hormones, trauma, and disrespect they may be experiencing, and ask yourself which one you are dealing with," Mutabazi advised.