A 49-year-old transgender CEO on coming out: "The biggest transphobia I faced was my own."

The Behind the Desk series by CNBC Make It features personal interviews with successful business executives, revealing their journeys, motivations, and daily routines.

For nearly five decades, Caroline Farberger spent every day pretending.

As CEO of Swedish insurance company ICA, Carl Farberger, 54, was a high-powered executive known for his large house, family, and three children.

From the age of 8, she felt like a character in an on-stage play, with "being a boy" being her assigned role. She hid her feminine identity, fearing rejection in school, work, and at home.

In 2017, Farbarger, with her wife's support, gained the courage to act as a woman walking the streets of Stockholm, immediately feeling that being a woman was her true gender identity.

At last, at 49 years old, I experienced authenticity. However, upon reflection, I felt a terrifying sensation because I realized there was no turning back.

On Thursday, Sept. 13, 2018, Farberger informed her 120-person staff that it was her final day as Carl. The following day, she would be known as Caroline. "I chose to make the transition on a weekday to demonstrate that it's merely a change in packaging, and I remain the same individual," she explains.

She nervously admits: "I had much at stake."

Farberger has been named partner and working chair at Swedish investment company Wellstreet, and she considers her transition to be a success.

I didn't believe I would be successful, but now I'm as happy as anyone can be. I haven't lost anything. I have my position in business, my wife, my kids, and my house.

Discussing the most challenging aspects of her journey, how it transformed her as a leader, and how her prior experience as a CEO provided her with an advantage.

Her leadership style has been fundamentally altered by the transition.

Initially, I was confident that I would remain unchanged as a leader during my transition. However, my experience has fundamentally altered me.

In business, being a white heterosexual male often comes with advantages, as there are social structures that are designed by men for men. Women, people of color, people with disabilities, and other non-normative individuals often have to navigate rules defined by men.

I used to view diversity as a mere statistic, focusing on recruiting a specific number of women to appear diverse. However, now that I have a more diverse team, I recognize the importance of empowering individuals and utilizing their unique strengths to improve our business.

As a leader, my behavior sets the tone for the corporate culture, and if I am not inclusive, my managers will not be either.

I vowed never to play theater again and to create a self-expression environment for others, in contrast to my early career where I learned to fit into the organization's image.

My own transphobia has been the hardest part of my transition.

Coming out to myself was the most challenging aspect of my transition. My own transphobia has been the biggest obstacle. I believed that I would be a failure if I couldn't embody the male character I was portraying.

My children, who were 12 and seven at the time, took the news of my wife and I informing them that I planned to live as a woman and change my name from Carl to Caroline, extremely well.

My wife and I exchanged a look, wondering: Is it truly this simple?

What is considered normal or abnormal is not innate but rather shaped by social structures in our upbringing. It's heartening to see that the younger generation is more accepting of differences in sexual orientation and gender identity compared to how I felt as a child.

As a CEO, I am fortunate to be welcomed warmly at work.

I have not experienced any uncomfortable situations at work, which is quite puzzling to me.

Although I am non-normative, I am privileged as a CEO when I network with other transgender individuals at a lower level in the corporate ladder.

I am not a warehouse worker, but rather work alongside highly educated and politically correct white-collar employees. Although some may have reservations about my appearance, they are likely to consider their actions carefully before taking any action. If I were a warehouse worker, I may have faced challenges.

Before my transition, I believed that I would have to make sacrifices, be treated poorly, have fewer opportunities, and feel more lonely. However, since my transition, I have received more opportunities than I would have if I had continued living as a middle-aged white heterosexual male.

I have discovered a new purpose in my existence, which involves being open and inspiring others to embrace their true selves.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

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