9 Phrases Mentally Strong People Avoid and What They Say Instead

Over the past three decades, I have been addressing queries regarding mental resilience. What specifically is mental strength? What distinguishes individuals with greater mental fortitude? How does mental strength manifest itself?

It can be challenging for mentally strong individuals to manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively, especially during difficult circumstances.

I have discovered that certain phrases are consistently used by mentally strong individuals, while others are not, due to their ability to regulate themselves.

Nine phrases mentally strong individuals steer clear of, along with their alternatives.

1. 'I am how I am'

Your mental strength is not a static trait. Like how you can work out at the gym to develop your physical muscles, you can also train your mental abilities. In my research, I have identified six key mental strength muscles that you can strengthen.

• Fortitude
• Confidence
• Boldness
• Decision-making
• Goal-focus
• Messaging (the ability to stay positive-minded and engaged despite negativity around you)

In "The Mentally Strong Leader," you'll discover a comprehensive self-assessment to identify which area requires the most attention, and which of the 50+ habit-building tools can help you improve. You can begin with a brief version of the assessment.

I possess a foundation of mental resilience to build upon.

Mastering communication and public speaking is a guide to becoming a skilled communicator.

2. 'Why me?'

Facing adversity with a victim mentality can make you feel helpless, but you have the power to overcome it.

Mentally strong people take responsibility and action.

Who will improve this unfavorable situation? Why not me?

Thinking this can spark action rather than self-pity.

3. 'This is your fault'

Mentally strong individuals don't need to accuse others when things go wrong; instead, they offer assistance.

I don't think that's a good idea.

Instead of saying "Things didn't go as we'd hoped," you could say "Our plans didn't pan out as expected."

4. 'I don't care what anyone thinks'

Mentally strong individuals value diverse perspectives and seek out constructive feedback.

They possess the confidence to gather input, handle disagreement, and move forward with an informed idea, without being swayed by the wind's direction.

I hold a firm belief, yet I am open to hearing other perspectives.

5. 'Failure isn't an option'

Rewritten sentence: It might not be, but putting it this way can have unintended consequences. It can prevent people from thinking big and taking warranted risks, or push them to bury information and mistakes.

What is our backup plan if this doesn't work out?

6. 'That's your problem, not mine'

Those who are mentally strong do not avoid responsibility and display empathy towards those who are facing difficulties.

They seek to assist, even if it's merely to listen and acknowledge the other person's presence.

What can I do to assist?" or "I'm available to hear you out.

7. 'But what if … ?'

If you fixate on the track wall while driving a race car, you will inevitably steer into it.

If you focus on all the ways things can go wrong in a high-pressure situation, you'll end up driving your metaphorical car right into those negative outcomes, you'll end up driving your metaphorical car right into those negative outcomes.

What will now transpire is that I will proceed with the task.

Taking proactive steps toward a positive outcome is important.

8. 'You failed'

What are you trying to achieve by pointing out their mistake?

Mentally strong individuals construct others with advantageous and constructive language, rather than tearing them down with discouraging and demoralizing words.

What did you gain from this experience that you can utilize in the future?

I'll commence my work at a later time when I'm in the mood.

In reality, the time when you feel motivated to accomplish a task may never come, or it may arrive too late, impacting the quality of your work as you rush to meet a deadline.

Individuals with mental fortitude remain committed to their objectives and take proactive measures to attain them, choosing to commence their efforts promptly.

Please allow me to begin this task immediately.

The Zeigarnik effect can motivate you to complete a task when you realize you haven't finished it yet.

Scott Mautz is a well-known speaker, trainer, and LinkedIn Learning instructor. He was previously a senior executive at Procter & Gamble, where he oversaw several of the company's largest multi-billion-dollar businesses. He is the author of "The Mentally Strong Leader: Develop the Skills to Control Your Emotions, Thoughts, and Actions." Connect with him on LinkedIn.

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