1. Psychology and etiquette experts suggest two effective ways to handle bothersome emails and messages at work.

Many people have experienced frustration when a coworker is bothersome through email or Slack.

A recent Kickresume survey found that 44% of employees consider written communication, such as emails or messages, to be a common source of workplace frustration. Respondents ranked credit stealing as the most annoying behavior, with micromanaging coming in second at 32%.

Nathan Bowling, a professor of psychology at the University of Central Florida, suggests that it makes sense that some of the most irritating interactions occur when we can't see the person behind the screen, as 62% of employees said these bothersome behaviors occur in person.

Industrial-organizational psychologist Bowling compares rude behavior in online communication to road rage, as his research focuses on the impact of stressful work environments on employees.

Bowling states that since people can't see each other's facial expressions while communicating on platforms like Slack or Teams, it could lead to annoying behavior.

He says that he believes there are individuals daily involved in road rage, but those who exhibit such behavior may not necessarily be rude if they were to pass by you on the sidewalk.

The small annoyances that Bowling refers to as "low-level aggression" can manifest as rudeness, such as sending a passive-aggressive email or doing something small to block someone's goals, like regurgitating a peer's idea as your own.

Job dissatisfaction and physical issues like headaches can result from those little moments of irritation that eventually become a burden.

New York City-based Beaumont Etiquette, which specializes in offensive hiring protocol training, has seen their busiest year yet in 2024.

Good etiquette can make everything, including dealing with annoying coworkers, easier to handle, says she, although part of the demand stems from changes in guidelines following the Covid-19 pandemic.

"Meier believes that showing consideration to others is important. He suggests that everyone would benefit from more kindness and consideration in the workplace. To be respectful and considerate to colleagues, one should prioritize what is kindest and most respectful."

Two methods for dealing with bothersome emails and messages, as suggested by Bowling and Meier.

1. Voice concrete examples of annoying behavior

If the annoying behavior is occurring through Slack, Teams, or email in a hybrid workplace, try to speak with the person in person, such as during lunch or over coffee, Meier advises.

Meier suggests softening the conversation with informal language like, "One last thing before we jump off I wanted to address was, do you know when we're talking virtually and this happens?" Instead of broaching the topic by saying something like, "We really need to talk about something," she says.

To effectively address problematic behavior, it's important to have concrete examples of the occurrences, advises Bowling.

"Instead of saying 'You're an obnoxious person,' say 'Your behavior is stressful for me. Please stop doing that.'"

2. Talk it through with your team

It might be beneficial to share your concerns with someone you trust by presenting the message or email to them if you suspect that a coworker has done something frustrating but are uncertain if it's just your imagination.

What are your thoughts? Do you think I am interpreting this incorrectly?

People sometimes jot down ideas quickly in a message, which might seem rude due to the lack of warmth. However, your peers might have experienced the same thing with that person, enabling you to move forward and address it with your team.

Meier suggests that the team should establish a standard practice to prevent such interactions from happening again.

We can discuss this via email or in a meeting. It's more formal and we can use inclusive language like "we" or "let's."

"Meier suggests rephrasing the sentence to make it sound like a team effort, rather than finger-pointing. Instead of saying "You're not finger pointing, per se, you're saying, 'As a team would you be OK if we started doing XYZ to make it a little bit easier for everyone?'" the sentence could be rewritten as "Meier suggests rephrasing the sentence to make it sound like a team effort, rather than finger-pointing. Instead of saying 'You're not finger pointing, per se, you're saying, 'As a team would you be OK if we started doing XYZ to make it a little bit easier for everyone?'', the sentence could be rewritten as 'Meier suggests rephrasing the sentence to make it sound like a team effort, rather than finger-pointing. Instead of saying 'You're not finger pointing, per se, you're saying, 'As a team would you be OK if we started doing XYZ to make it a little bit easier for everyone?'', the sentence could be rewritten as 'Meier suggests rephrasing the sentence to make it sound like a team effort, rather than finger-"

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