Oncologists often observe that people's final words are typically one of four phrases, which reveal important lessons about living happy, fulfilling lives.

Siddhartha Mukherjee, a Pulitzer Prize-winning author and oncologist, claims that despite the uniqueness of everyone's life, most people still express one of four common phrases on their deathbeds.

Mukherjee stated during a speech at the University of Pennsylvania last week that each person he met during a period of transition wanted to make four offerings.

The phrases are:

• I want to tell you that I love you.
• I want to tell you that I forgive you.
• Would you tell me that you love me?
• Would you give me your forgiveness?

According to Mukherjee, author of the acclaimed 2011 nonfiction book "The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer," individuals who are aware of their impending death often convey a version of one of those four themes, which suggests that they delayed expressing their gratitude for others or rectifying their interpersonal mistakes until it was too late.

J. Kim Penberthy, a neurobehavioral scientist at the University of Virginia, wrote in a 2022 blog post that people who harbor grudges, live with unresolved guilt, or spend years being too afraid to be vulnerable may experience remorse, stress, poor mental health, and hormonal and immune imbalances, which can stunt their personal and professional growth.

"Mukherjee stated that love and forgiveness, as well as death and transition, are intertwined. He emphasized that waiting to express oneself only postpones the inevitable. He advised young people to take this seriously, as love and forgiveness have become empty and outdated cliches in today's world. People often laugh at these words."

Richard Cowden, a social-personality psychologist with the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard's Institute for Quantitative Social Science, recommends following these four steps to come to terms with having wronged or hurt someone:

1. Take responsibility for your actions.
2. Allow yourself to experience negative feelings, like remorse and guilt.
3. Give a sincere apology and try to make amends.
4. Learn from the experience and move on.

""It's natural to protect one's self-esteem by dismissing what happened or making excuses for your behavior, but it can free you from your past mistakes and help you live more fully in the here and now. You might be surprised how much better you feel if you can work through the process of forgiving yourself," Cowden told Harvard Medical School in 2022."

Express your love and appreciation for people by doing thoughtful gestures like taking their vehicle to the car wash, surprising them with flowers, going out to dinner with friends, or giving them a hug. You can also simply say "I love you" or "I appreciate you."

Mukherjee emphasized the importance of love and forgiveness in relationships.

"He challenged me to use these words, but not as mere cliches. Instead, I should infuse them with genuine significance. Feel free to express yourself in any manner you choose."

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