What lessons did Mary Barra, former CEO of General Motors, and Ginni Rometty, former CEO of IBM, learn about being women leaders?

• On Monday in New York City, CNBC's Leslie Picker was joined by Mary Barra, the CEO of General Motors, and Ginni Rometty, the former CEO of IBM, at the CNBC CEO Council: Leaders' Library.
• At the inaugural Leaders' Library event, a comprehensive discussion was held among the female CEOs.
• They talked about the examples set by their mothers during childhood and their professional journeys, including downplaying their gender and embracing their role as female business icons for other women today.

Mary Barra and Ginni Rometty share many similarities, including overcoming childhood challenges and achieving success as CEOs of major corporations. They are both professional peers and friends, and were brought together for the CNBC CEO Council: Leaders' Library due to Barra's recommendation of Rometty's book, "Good Power."

On Monday in New York City, CNBC's Leslie Picker interviewed Barra and Rometty about their leadership styles, their impact on companies, and their personal evolution as women leaders.

As women at the top of their respective fields, Barra and Rometty's thinking on the topic of female leadership has evolved.

Here are a few highlights from the conversation.

Overcome your hesitation to lead with 'woman'

Both Barra and Rometty admit that they initially avoided highlighting their gender as a factor in their success, but now believe that leading with "woman" is crucial for paving the way for future generations of leaders in a world where the gender gap in the C-suite remains significant.

Rometty stated that she began embracing her identity as a woman and mother in the workplace when people began recognizing her as a role model. "People can't be what they can't see. And I finally realized that I was being selfish by saying, 'no, no, don't look at me for being a woman, don't ever look at me for this.' Then I finally started to embrace it. ... I talk about our differences, that we can leave a memory and a mark," Rometty said. "It's worth noticing that you notice there's not many of them."

Barra experienced a similar awakening. She began her career on the ground floor in manufacturing and easily overlooked being the only woman in early roles. However, as she progressed to the C-suite, comments about her identity intensified, making her uncomfortable. Barra remembered asking people, "Can we discuss something else? I'd like to believe I got here because of my skills, abilities, and contributions, not just because I'm a woman."

As she observed the influence her identity had on others in the workplace, Barra shifted her perspective.

Embrace your upbringing, motherhood

Both Barra and Rometty are proud to challenge the "motherhood penalty" in the workplace, which can negatively impact perceptions of competence, pay, promotions, and respect.

When Barra shared that she was going to have a child, many people assumed she would stop working. However, this expectation motivated her to become a role model and mentor.

"As a mother of two, I had to juggle both my responsibilities. However, I often see women saying that they cannot have children because they want to have kids someday. But, I believe that it is possible to have both. My mother, who was a wonderful role model, encouraged me to believe that I could achieve anything if I worked hard."

Rometty was raised by three generations of women who faced significant hardships, including a single mother and her father leaving the family when she was young. Each of these women served as models for overcoming challenges, teaching Rometty the courage to endure things.

Rometty's mother played a crucial role in lifting her family out of poverty, and Rometty attributed her strength to her mother's influence.

Rometty believes that the workforce culture needs to be transformed to foster more confident and successful female executives. "The reason why we don't see as many women in top positions is because they can't stay in the workforce," Rometty stated. "They reach a certain point, whether it's due to children, family, or other reasons."

To increase female leadership, she suggested that in addition to formal programs, it's crucial to show women "women in our positions."

Be confident in your workplace qualifications

Early in her career, Rometty would decline better job offers because she was afraid she wouldn't be able to perform them.

She shared one instance where she was offered a job and replied, "I need to check with my husband first." The interviewer seemed puzzled, and she went home to ask her husband. He responded, "Would a man really answer like that? I've seen this happen before - every time you take a new job, you're focusing on what you can't do, and after six months, you're bored."

"Rometty stated that growth and comfort cannot coexist, and that her book's core idea is reframing risk as a learning tool. She emphasized that every time she feels nervous and at risk, she is learning, which allows her to take on riskier and riskier tasks. Rometty added that this isn't a bad ending, as she will learn something from it. She also noted that this idea resonates with all humans, but particularly with women."

The fear of rejection and risk is not limited to men in the job market; it also affects women in the recruiting process.

In the workplace, Barra stated that women often hesitate to raise their hand due to uncertainty, and eventually someone else will speak up on their behalf, leaving them unsure of what was said.

Barra advised young women in the workplace to have a point of view, even if it doesn't align with the group's decision. It's crucial to be heard and have a voice. Barra emphasized the importance of women going for what they want.