Whether couples communicate effectively about money can be determined by their response to a single question, according to Cornell research.

• New research from Cornell University reveals that couples frequently avoid discussing financial stress, which can exacerbate the issue.
• Reframing how you approach those issues can help initiate a conversation.

Discussing financial stress with your partner is the most effective way to address it.

New research from Cornell University reveals that the opposite of what typically occurs often happens.

Emily Garbinsky, an associate professor of marketing and management communication at Cornell, stated that people are more likely to believe that starting conversations with their partner about their stress will lead to a fight, which will increase their stress levels.

The success of couples in resolving their financial problems largely depends on their ability to answer one crucial question: Are their differences permanent or can they be resolved?

As retirement approaches, many Gen Xers are playing catch-up with their savings.

What successful couples do differently

Research from Cornell suggests that couples who believe their financial problems are ongoing are more likely to assume they have no solution.

Garbinsky stated that partners may believe they have significant differences in their financial perspectives, which makes it unproductive to have a discussion where no resolution is possible.

If the couple believes their issues are solvable and can recall instances where they reached a compromise with their partner, they are more likely to discuss money, according to research.

Garbinsky stated that most couples tend to view their financial problems as ongoing and thus avoid discussing financial issues.

Financial infidelity can result from communication avoidance, as partners may withhold or conceal financial information to prevent conflict, according to Garbinsky.

Over time, a lack of communication can harm a relationship.

According to Garbinsky, if you're not communicating and if you're concealing information from your partner, it will negatively impact your relationship's quality over time.

How to find a 'middle ground'

Jude Boudreaux, a certified financial planner and partner at The Planning Center in New Orleans, suggests acknowledging that money stalemates in relationships are common and human.

Boudreaux, a member of the CNBC FA Council, stated that people often develop a way of managing money based on their past experiences and what makes them feel most comfortable. For instance, someone who grew up without much money may want to have a substantial savings buffer as an adult.

Boudreaux stated that it is uncommon for savers to marry other savers or for spenders to marry other spenders.

Discussing the money memories of each partner can help to understand their current feelings about money and resolve financial conflicts, he stated.

Boudreaux advised framing possible decisions in a way that makes each partner feel comfortable, such as asking questions like "What are ways that you might feel more comfortable if we were to make these decisions?" and "What would you need to feel heard going into this conversation, and then to be able to feel confidence coming out of it?"

Boudreaux, who has been mediating couple conversations for years, emphasizes the importance of approaching these discussions with an optimistic mindset. While one partner may choose to be more cautious, the other may be willing to take a more assertive stance.

"Often there's a middle ground," Boudreaux said.